Last night's nerd togger - a day of days!

BOOM!

The usual derby day recipe of mistakes, nerves and unbearable tension was cast aside at Biff Mansions as Nerd Everton BEAT THE LIVING PISS out of nerd Liverpool, played on this occasion by a young Spanish twerp. I know this because I could hear his every anguished yelp blurting out of my telly like a strangled digital fart. The mayday call of the doomed.
No one could have lived with my nerd powers on this day as we tore in to the reds from the off, forcing three quick corners. Nowt came of them but it was only a matter of time before el Lipewl's defence fell.
When the breakthrough came it was quick and deadly. A smart move down the left saw Pienaar whip over a cross, the defence looked to have it covered but BOOM there was Yakubu to muscle in and head home at the near post. Chances came and went for Everton but no more first-half goals as Liverpool limped over the line with all the force of an old man's wank.
The second half was more of the same but this time Liverpool had no answer to the sheer force of will that was this nerd display, as first Cahill and then Saha blasted home to put the blues out of sight. The feared, fabled Liverpool late rally never came, instead it was Everton who poured forward searching for more. And with seconds to go, Yakubu drifted in from the left before hammering home the killer blow. At this point, with his dreams in tatters and the score at 4-0, Pepe pulled the plug.

Previously:

Up yours, Spurs and Bayern

Fridge

A right royal bumming

A grim tale

Have that Fritz

No name

It begins