Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Apprentice episode 8 - a touch of drudge

Chameleon-like Christopher - here doing his 'Joey off friends'
Ah the joy of seeing bumbling idiots trying to out-dickhead each other. After a couple of poor(ish) episodes where it was pretty clear who was for the chop as soon as they got in the boardroom, we needed a proper blood bath this week.
Unfortunately we don't get one as the business school circus heads to Germany. Christopher gets in a bit of Stan Boardman with 'I hate the Germans!' and they're off to Hamburg to try and flog crisps.
Stella leads Team Puddle and Chris, who always speaks like he's trying to hold down vomit, is in charge of Team Flaps. You wouldn't think Stuart could sound more of a nob than last week's masterclass in talking to women but MAN hear him chant those German numbers. He's right though, paprika is fucking lovely.
They have to decide on flavours with Stella's mob going for stilton/paprika and chilli/beef - both of which sound ace - while Chris's troop go for ghoulash and curryvurst.
The actual flogging is quite hard to follow because of the rapid-fire editing - again! Is it just me can't tell who's on which team? - but a couple of stand out moments include Stuart and Laura coming up against an unblinking ball breaker who cant understand her. So naturally she talks fasterandfasterandfaster. The bloke does't like the crisps either. Soon Laura is declaring she 'doesn't give a shit' about the whole thing and then the heel comes off her shoe! Lovely stuff.
Meanwhile Christopher, who looks a bit like Fungus the Bogeyman this week, and dreamy Jamie pound the pavements trying to flog crisps - sorry, luxury chips - door-to-door at cafes, where Jamie helpfully explains the concept of crisps with a sarnie to one cafe worker.
It's in the boardroom where this programme should be at its best, but its been lacking lately and this is again another tame effort. Even Sugar seems weary of it all as he sighs about seeing the same faces back time and again. As it is, Stella's lot win by a mile and it's Chris and the rest of Team Tithead back for the bitch fight. 
The debate over who's at fault is a bit half-arsed but lovely Liz dodges the bullet so it's Christopher, Jamie and team leader Chris facing the bolt gun through the back of the head.
Chris says he's unlucky to be back in there and, while he's right to a degree because others did mess up (taking a late appointment thus allowing the other lot to nip in and get a massive sale, mainly), you don't say it to a bloke like Sugar.
Christopher is a water carrier, a strong back. He seems a grafter but do people, as the lord says, really like him? Either way, in a minor shock, it's Christopher who gets the chop. He looks gutted. The squaddie nob.
On the most important thing - looks - Jamie's an odd one, from straight on he looks good but from the left, as they keep showing him here, he looks like he's had a minor stroke. Is it just me thinks this programme is on its last legs? Needs a good 'un next week.

Best bit:
Gobby Joanna: 'Have I got my point across clearly enough? I want a sausage, I want a curry and I want paprika.' Whaddagal!

So long Sandeesh!
Fuck off Alex
Episode 5-fear-and-loathing in M17


  1. If Stuart Baggs is given the hook next week, thats it for me, i aint gonna bother with it again. The man is genius.

  2. i warmed to him a bit this week. the cheeky chopped little trump