Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Apprentice episode 7 - so long Sandeesh!

This week the highest flyers the nation's City & Guilds events management courses can produce have to create blue screen videos - like they do action stuff for films like James Bond on - and sell them to shopping centre folks in west London's colossal monument to commerce, Westfield.
Leader of Team Dunderhead, Stuart, gets things going with his battle cry: "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt." Or something. And pausing only to piss off his team mates (all women) razzes off in a racing car (that's what their film is, racing cars - a good idea, for kids, to be fair).
Stuart assumes last week's victim Alex's prick mantle and keeps going on about what an ace leader he is - big talk for a rosy cheeked fatarse with no self awareness and actual tits. Not 'moobs', TITS. He's clearly never had sex outside of a commercial arrangement. TITS!
At the shopping centre they set up with a little racing car in front of the blue screen and get some sales. Things look promising - cash changes hands as the parents see their kids pretend racing. But oh no! Customers complain that rogue kids turn up on the wrong DVDs (it's like Gary Glitter all over again). TITS!
Team Boob is led by Sandeesh and their idea is skiing, or snowboarding or some shite, because they are fucking stupid. Who the hell is going to pay money to piss about - in front of their pals or family, presumably - pretending to ski and then take a film home to show people?
When they open (late because no one can work the gear) no sod wants to have a go. Then they drop the price and finally attract some punters (their kids anyway) before going one better and nicking Team Dunderhead's idea and getting racing cars!
To the boardroom! How was Stuart, girls? A short silence, then BLAMMO! From all sides - but incredibly his team wins. The spawny wanker. Sandeesh? She's alright, is the consensus, but they lost so she has to decide who's going to be wriggling with her like some corporate worm under Sugar's magnifying glass. (I reckon Nick's the sun).
Chris's wet gob is flapping in indignance but he's back in with Liz, leaving the other two to slide home in their own oils. Chris is revving, spluttering how Sandeesh never spread the work out, and how blah blah blah.
He needn't worry, Liz neither, because Sugar's got Sandeesh in his sights and it's obvious she's doomed, probably for her overall performance throughout the series, and she's gone - without 'the point'!


Fuck off Alex
Episode 5-fear-and-loathing in M17

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