Tuesday, 2 November 2010

Last night's Fifa nerding

His nerd version failed me
Three games last night -  two draws and one BASTARD defeat. The loss came at the hands of iwanroberts9's nerd Liverpool, presumably the former Norwich player of the same name. Or possibly his stalker.
Anyhoo he went one up inside two minutes against my nerd Everton but I hit back on seven through Yakubu. Only for him (Torres again - the WANKER) to go 2-1 up on nine. The rest of the match was fairly even although Saha managed to smash over an open goal after tackling Reina just outside the box.
I can take defeat but right at the death the bastard has his goalie run the ball into the corner, wait for my lot to swarm on him like a slavering pack of diet-club lasses who've spotted an unclaimed eclair. Then he smashes it out! Right out of the screen! So I pulled the plug on the blaggard. No stats for you, Iwan. If that is your real name
Next up was a draw (as nerd City) v nerd Marseille. Very even - if dirty game - this one with slidies going in everywhere. Nerd City are an interesting one in that they're ace at the back, and have Tevez who's brilliant, but they have too many lumpy midfielders - yes YOU, Barry, de Jong and Toure. A horrible game and I can't remember who scored.
Rounding the whole thing off was a brilliantly spiteful 1-1 draw between nerd Juventus and nerd Everton. This one had the lot and was particularly enjoyable for me because the GOBSHITE I was playing was one of those flicky-tricky fucks who thinks he's it but who probably uses his t-shirt as a napkin when he has his tea and is sat there with skids on his couch because he's too FUCKING FAT to wear kecks and never goes out anyway so what's the point of even putting undies on? Has a pint glass half filled with water and black with the sickly goo of extinguished, and floating, ciggies. Nailed.
He went one up but I hit back second half and spent the rest of the game wacking fuck out of his players. None of which impressed my mrs who wanted me to paint the radiator in the bedroom.

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