Diary of a squad player, 4

And they're off! (Note the driver's personal bog roll)

Friday, 26 November
Coach up north for our away game tomorrow. A few supporters at the ground buying tickets as we left this morning - they must be mad, it's fucking freezing and we're bound to get snotted! Still, their choice.
The trip up is the usual, with everyone plugged into their iPods and DVD players. Mucker won fifty notes off me at cards. We're rooming together so I'll rob it back off him later.
The hotel's fucking awful. One of those purple ones Lenny Henry advertises - the boss says he'll have words with the chairman about getting us somewhere better next time, but he won't. He needs to keep his head down. I've heard the chairman's met ++++ ______  a few times now.

Saturday, 27 November
We got absolutely stuffed - the gaffer went berserk at half time and then absolutely fucking meltdown at full time. He was screaming and shouting and a big load of snot flew out of his nose and on his shirt - he just left it there. Kell got a bit on his leg but was too scared to wipe it off. It just sat there, bubbling in time with the boss's fury.
Ellsy got the shite ripped out of him by their full back and never got forward himself - the boss let him have it on that as well. I had to go the toilet I was laughing so much (so I could laugh, I wasn't pissing myself). The only ones who didn't get it were us who didn't get on, and the kitman. Even the physio got a bottle lashed at him in the changies.
The bus home was quiet at first, except for Rog's farts. You've never heard anything like these - really loud, carnival loud - deep and booming, but hardly any smell. Incredible. Quirk of nature I guess.
About an hour into the journey, the captain Stevo stood up and had a word. He's right, we're better than we showed today. Home game on Tuesday's what we have to look to now.
Things lightened up a bit after that, then Ribbsy says we should get the coach to drop us off and go straight to Infernos but I don't fancy it. It's always the same stuff for us, the same faces, the same girls - it's too easy. I'm getting sick of it now. I want something more. I'm not talking about settling down but it would be nice to meet someone I could talk to, someone who could get deep inside - there must be more to me than this?
I want to meet someone who'll tell me when I'm being a nob, someone who calls their mates by their proper names - and doesn't just stick a 'y' on the end. Someone who likes music and isn't caked in make-up. Someone who actually enjoys reading books, who wants to test themselves, push themselves forward, learn new things, embrace change, try different cultures. Someone I can talk to about my feelings, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I'm swerving it tonight, just Match of the Day and a beer at home. Something's changing in me, I can feel it.

Sunday, 28 November
Went the brasshouse.

Previously:
Part 3 
Part 2
Part 1

My fave jacket

Reading Keith Wildman's excellent 'top 14 jackets' story on Sabotagetimes nudged me to mention my fave. I've got a fair few coats but for look, fit, gadgetry and all-round aceness it has to be the Paul & Shark iPod jacket which I got a couple of years ago off Italian ebay for about £170 (brand new like - I'm not a meff).
Mine's dark grey and, I think, a sample so that bit rarer, at least I've never seen another one. It's a large - all P&S samples are large - but, unlike say CP Company, it's a decent large, for the fuller-figured gent.
I think part of what I like about it is that the colour, along with the iPod control panel on the sleeve (pictured below, top), allows me to pretend I'm a cyborg when in reality I'm sitting on the bus with a bag of food from the 'whoops!' aisle, fending off south London's most wretched.
The iPod goes in a zip-up padded pouch (below, middle) on the inside, from which the earphones come out through a small hole in the top. The iPod plugs into a little box which does some kind of magic and the panel on the sleeves features a stitched button for each of the ipod controls, although they can be hit and miss, and frequently don't work at all. I sent it back to the P&S lab (that's what they call it) but they found no fault so I assume it's just temperamental. Although what was cutting edge two or three years ago is now out of date as it's not really compatible with the iPod touch or iPhone. How fast things move on - I remember five or six years ago passing a mate my new iPod in the pub and telling him to hold it under the table to look at it, lest it be taxed by envious have-nots.

But even with lessened gadgetry this is still a smart piece of kit and typical of the better stuff P&S do - ie the items that don't have writing all over them. It's waterproof, with taped seams, lined and pretty lightweight, and pockets up the wazoo - an essential feature for a fave jacket.