Alan Nixon says so, 25/12/10 to 31/12/10

swoop

A quick round up of the made up bullshit of everyone's favourite tabloid chubster. For those new to Nixon watch, we round up all the fat prick's transfer 'scoops' and manager moves then, when the transfer window closes, we'll see how many the turd actually gets right. 
These are only the ones I've seen so if I've missed any please add in comments below. On with the show - you'll notice virtually all his shite goes in two papers.
From the Mirror: Sam Allardyce to be the next Burnley manager (joint byline with David Anderson). Owen Coyle (Bolton) 'to one of English football`s major powers'. Nixon mentions Liverpool.
Eidur Gudjohnsen (Stoke) wants out, to anywhere. Stephen Ireland and Richard Dunne (Aston Villa) to Celtic (probably loans). Also Villa-bound in Alan world will be Blackburn's Chris Samba (super) for a cool £6m-plus. 
Wayne Bridge from Manchester City to West Ham (loan or full transfer) where he'll be joined by 'Hoffenheim’s £6million-rated Senegal striker Demba Ba'. 
David Luiz (Benfica) to Chelsea or City for £35m. Kevin Wilson (Forest) to Celtic. Apparently he's due to sign a pre contract to join for nowt in summer but Celtic want him now dammit.
From the People: Steve 'Roy's' Kean (Blackburn) to 'swoop' for Barcelona's Oriol Romeu, but he faces a battle (!) with Villa. They should nipple it out, Houllier and Kean, live on Sky. Bare chested, hands tied behind backs, no butting aloud - all you've got is your nipples. Also 'another Barcelona youngster, Sergio Roberto, is wanted by Chelsea'. Course he is, dickhead. Elsewhere Leicester want Emile Heskey on loan from Villa but he only wants a permanent move. 
Doncaster manager 'Sean O'Driscoll will snub Sheffield United – because he is the red-hot favourite to step in at Nottingham Forest.' In place of Billy Davies and his sword that spits fire. Meanwhile Neil Sullivan - who is well hunky (my opinion, not Nixon's, as far as I know) could be the new Doncaster boss.

Alan Nixon says so

Nixon and Presley - sit on it!

For no other reason than this fat fuck gets on my wick with his clearly made up transfer bollocks I'm going to start charting all of mega sports hack Alan 'sources' Nixon's 'scoops' and see how they stand up to actual events.
There's loads of shite you can find on the internet that this bell's supposedly had 'the nod' about off one of his agent chums, but I can't be arsed going back so I'll start things off with last weekend's efforts. 
I'll update at the end of each week then at the end of each month we'll see how many the fat get has got right. 
This is only stuff with his byline on, so doesn't include any shite he may contribute un-named to the Mirror's bollocks Football Spy, or similar shite in other papers. Or stuff other papers rehash - ie today the Mail repeat the Leighton Baines one below. This is purely about Nixon name-on bullshit. I wonder if he still wears that meffy leather jacket? Anyway, if I've missed any let us know on the comments please.


11/12/10-18/12/10:
From the Mirror: Blackpool's Charlie Adam to Blackburn Rovers for £3 million. Bolton to sign Swansea’s Darren Pratley (free in the summer). Diego Maradona to be next Blackburn Rovers manager (he quotes an 'insider'. Again.). Sam Allardyce to 'the Middle East' - telly and managing.
Alan Shearer to manage Blackburn (joint byline with David Anderson) 'only if he gets assurances from Venky's' - sounds like a malt shop off Happy Days. 


From the People: Everton's Leighton Baines to Bayern Munich for £10 million. Martin Jol or Chris Hughton to West Ham (joint byline with Alan Oliver), if Hughton gets it, Joey Barton and goalkeeping coach Paul Barron to West Ham.