Everton v Manchester United REPORT!

Takeaway

Manchester United bounced RIGHT fucking back from last Sunday's humiliation at the golden hands of Manchester City by dispatching Everton with minimum fuss.
Everton had a go at it for about 15 minutes and went close, then United scored and Goodison deflated and sagged like Nigella Lawson after her 'best' girdle splits. Does that work? I'm not sure it does.
Anyway half time came and people didn't even bother discussing the match because no one really cares any more, I mean what's the point?
This happened to Everton against United even when we had a half decent team, but now? We've now sold all our best players - Fellaini? Oh fuck off - and signed the Argentinian Ashley Ward as back up for two perma-injured layabouts and a Greek lad who looks slightly embarrassed to be there.
Be honest, have you ever seen anyone look so awkward as Aspostolos Velios after his two goals, which I think make him joint top scorer for the Blues. Fucking two.
There was a - ACTUALLY THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN AS UNITED WERE HAPPY TO LET EVERTON HAVE THE BALL BUT IF THEY'D SCORED A SECOND I THINK IT WOULD HAVE - brief rally at the start of the second half, from the players and the stands, until United popped in the second on the hour, leaving the Goodison support with a stark choice - early dart or stay to boo?
It'll probably stay 2-0 because, if we're honest, it's a result which suits us all - points for them, and at least we didn't get fucked by a team that, horror of horrors, spends money. Ooh, the rotters.
Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Jerjelka, Distain, Baines, Coleman, Osman, Fellaini, Rodwell, Cahill, Saha. He'll have Coleman on the right, Osman on the left and the other three fannying around in the middle with Saha looking like a fella starved of attention 30 yards further up the pitch.
Okay, so Cahill was injured but the Russian came and showed us all what a superb piece of business he was. I've never seen anyone so adept at making sure there was an opposition player between him and the ball at all times.
Also does Fellaini ever pass it forward? You too, Rodwell. Either/or with those two I think.