Diary of a squad player, part 8

Waxy

Thursday, 9 December
It was the club's chrimbo do last night - that's 'normal' staff, the players have our own - but the boss made us all go! It was a nightmare. You should see how some of them dress - like they've been given the keys to TK Maxx.
They had it laid out so there were three of us on each table, with about eight of 'them'. Me, Mucker and Johnno were together but they spread us out so we had to mix with the staff. I got stuck between the woman from payroll and a lad who works in the ticket office. I had Julie from reception opposite me - the mouth on her.
To be fair once I'd had a few drinks it wasn't too bad. They're nice enough people but they're so different to us. Talking to the lad from the ticket office - Tony, I think - he was saying how he's just finished university and is looking for a 'proper' job. He's got an interview for somewhere or other next week. I've never had a job interview - he couldn't believe it when I told him. The only reason I own a suit is the club supply us with them for matchdays.
We only had to stay until the meal ended so we chucked them a round in and got a taxi home as soon as we could. The boss never showed.


Friday, 10 December
Day off so stayed in bed. Watched Ghostbusters II on telly. Had the best hangover wank ever. Thank you, a young Sigourney Weaver.


Saturday, 11 December
Wasn't in the squad so I’ll probably be playing for the stiffs on Monday. It’s shit because we play in the afternoon in midweek so there’s absolutely no one watching. At least if it’s a night game like at some clubs you get a few faces in. You can hear each other fart when we play. 
If you're not in the first-team matchday squad you still have to come to the match and watch it. We drew 1-1 and it was fucking grim. No one stays for the whole match - I left with about 20 minutes to go.
Watched the X-Factor. Didn't vote. Still fuming at Mary 'feel the' Byrne getting binned - an absolute fucking scandal.


Sunday, 12 December
Had a call from me agent. Reckons there's a couple of clubs interested. Meeting him tomorrow but unless they're paying big money I can't be arsed moving. I've still not unpacked all me stuff from last time. Got a whole box of watches just sitting there. 
Watched Spurs v Chelsea on the telly. Good game but Glenn Hoddle looks like he's got a disease that turns skin to wax. A disease no one else has ever had so they have to name it after him.


Previously:
Part 7
Part 6
Part 5
Part 4
Part 3 
Part 2
Part 1