Monday, 6 December 2010

Diary of a squad player, part 6

An unwanted, if spiffy, tractor
Tuesday, 30 November
Tonight's match is off because of the snow. The pitch is fine but the roads around the ground are murder, so we get double training instead. Magic.
Stayed in and flicked between I'm a Celebrity... and watching United get their arses handed to them by West Ham. Voted for Kayla.

Wednesday, 1 December
Training cancelled because the pitches are frozen. Had another go at Black Ops online but I just can't do it. As soon as I start there's hundreds of wankers shooting me while I'm looking at the controller working out which button to press. Tried the Batman game again but stopped to watch Loose Women - wonder how old Andrea is.
Ribbsy says one of the youth team players' cousins has been kidnapped. Gang related apparently.
If we're going to New York for the weekend we need our Saturday match called off tomorrow or Friday morning at the latest - possible as it's a long trip for the away team - and the airport open for Friday. We'll pay through the nose for tickets but fuck it.
Mucker turned up late on with a bottle of Jagermeister. Finished it and went on ebay.

Thursday, 2 December
Trying to weasel out of paying for a tractor.

Friday, 3 December
Tomorrow's match is on so the New York trip is off for now. Ribbsy suggested going to Brighton after the game but that's not really cutting it for me.
Can't believe Russia got the World Cup. All the papers reckon it's down to that Panorama thing - didn't watch it so can't say - but I think they should look at who we sent. A running lord, a prince who looks like an erection would kill him, David Beckham and David Cameron.
What does that say about this country? It says were a bunch of nobs, according to me dad. He reckons all foreigners - when they're not sneaking into the country to steal prescriptions which they probably sell to earn money which they use to bring more of their relatives into the country which is why there's so many of them in his local - think we live in some kind of Harry Potter or Mr Bean film. All bungling idiots or slaying dragons - and I didn't see any dragons in Zurich.
And Qatar? That's never a country.

Saturday, 4 December
Apparently Qatar is a country, although officially known as an emirate, in the Middle East, occupying the small Qatar Peninsula on the northeasterly coast of the much larger Arabian Peninsula.
You live, you learn.

Sunday, 5 December
Played the last two minutes of yesterday's 3-1 win. Pisses me off a bit getting on right at the end - do you have a shower or what? Have you really done enough in those few minutes to need a shower? If it's 20 minutes fair enough, but two?
Watched Antiques Roadshow - mmm, Fiona Bruce. Stevo came round late (we're off tomorrow) so we had a few drinks and flicked round the channels. That Sarah Palin was on CNN  - Stevo's face! Like me, he's a fan of the older but bolder lady. But he was frothing at the mouth with this one, we'd had a few beers like. He was saying: 'I want to do her on a bed of leather, zips and Nazi memorabilia.' Then he disappeared to the bathroom. He was gone a while. 

Part 5
Part 4
Part 3 
Part 2
Part 1

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