Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Gold to reveal all

West Ham United co-owner David Gold has promised to reveal the secret of eternal youth IF the people in charge of divvying out the Olympic stadium give the Hammers the nod.
Gold, 74, and his 50-year-old daughter Jacqueline - the boss of 1970s nifty-knickers store Ann Summers - have baffled the public for years with their youthful looks. 
Many cultural commentators credit the life-giving properties of porno, and the years spent basking in its glow.
But nay-sayers point to Gold's co-owner at West Ham, tortured goblin David Sullivan, 35, as the evidence against. 
Whatever the truth, we won't be finding out for a bit with the Olympic Park Legacy Company delaying the stadium decision, possibly for up to a fortnight. 
This might be because they're working their way through free DVDs of the Shaved Mamas in Space series, reports are unclear at this stage.


  1. "tortured goblin David Sullivan, 35"

    Solid gold, no pun intended

  2. "the life-giving properties of porno" I think you've just discovered the title of your first compendium of musings Biff