Diary of a squad player, part 10

Smile!

Saturday, 8 January
Wasn't even in the squad again so the commercial staff had me doing a load of hand shakes and photos before the match - kit sponsors and that. Wasn't too bad and I chanced a sneaky pint as I wasn't going to be seeing the boss.
Unfortunately he walked in to meet his agent as I was slurping. Not sure if he spotted me but fuck it, I'm not playing. It cost £3.80! It's only a bit more than that at Infernos and we get our own bit behind a velvet rope there. And blowjobs.

Sunday, 9 January
Watched Man U beat Liverpool on the telly. Christ it was boring. Kenny Dalglish looks like someone's let the air out of him. Never saw him play but he looks good on the youtube clips.

Monday, 10 January
Went down with Ribbsy to the club's main sponsor's new shop. It's a DIY gaff so it stunk of paint and boredom. It was supposed to be a photo for the local paper but no one turned up so they had to get the staff to pretend to be supporters.
Phil the press officer kept apologising and sweating but we weren't arsed. It was either that or going to the hospital again, and seeing those sick kids is just depressing. They should mix the wards up a bit so all the really bad cases - the bald girls and the ones with tubes sticking out of them - aren't together.