'Birds' channel' in shock swoop for Gray and Keys

Richard Keys last night

Disgraced feminists Andy Gray and Richard Keys are the shock choices to front Living Tv's new daytime chat show, Menstral Gas, as the battle for the much-prized 3am slot goes nuclear.
With Gray already sacked and Keys looking certain to follow after fresh footage emerged last night of him demanding a nursery school teacher look at his 'elephant', Living have swooped.
The network - famous for such shows as Dating in the Dark, Cougar Town, and The Oestrogeneration Game - have offered the pair a new home, away from prying eyes.
A Living spokeswoman said: 'Research shows no cunt watches our channel at that time of the morning but we're confident this edgy new approach will pay off.
'They'll be tackling all the issues that matter to today's modern woman or homosexual man. One things for sure, with Richard and Andy no one will be safe!'
Keys has stayed silent since the scandal broke but last night Gray said: 'Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm no sexist. And if you don't believe me you can ask me tart.'
Guests rumoured to be lined up for episode one of Gas include Michael Winner, Silvio Burlesconi and Dame Judy Dench.