|A picture from Brighton|
After an absence of two months from the online nerding arena I have returned. I was drunk and signed up again and within minutes remembered why I binned it off. The bad connections, the piss-taking of opponents, the replay watchers, the smart-arses, the endless stuffings. By gar I missed it!
First up nerd Everton took on nerd Villa and I bashed this prick's brains in - ol' skool! Three Cahill headers cancelling out an Ashley Young opener.
Rematch? Don't mind if I do. So he went Man City and I went Atletico Madrid and again I was all over him, but tellingly, couldn't put the nerd ball in the nerd net. Whereas everything my foe hit turned to goals. A 5-0 reverse.
On to the decider and, even now, I don't know where this came from - I didn't think I could do it, never saw myself as a meddler in the black arts - but he went Real Madrid, and I thought 'fuck it' and went Manchester United. Anathema to me. I detest everything about them, even in nerd form. They're no Liverpool, but even so.
I can only put this calming of my ire down to occasional retweets I've read by that human representation of stone cladding, Wayne Rooney, where he comes across as irritatingly alright. You can follow the life of a plain talking millionaire farm hand on the popular social network site, his 'handle' is: @I'mastupidmoronwithanuglyfaceandbigbuttandmybuttsmellsandIliketokissmyownbutt.
And it has to be said, nerd United have just the right blend of speed, skill and massiveness to make them pretty good. Goals from Giggs and Hernandez put me in control and despite a late one from Ronaldo or someone there was never any danger.
But the victory was tainted, sure it all counts in the nerd annals, but for me this was a stretch too far and a reminder that victory is not all.