Dear Mars

devastation

I got a choc bar out of the machine just then, a Twix Fino (sounds like a Chilean gigolo, a chicoglo?). It felt smashed when I held it but I ludicrously hoped it might be encased in some kind of futuristic choc-bar-inner-sleeve-bubble-wrap. But it wasn't, as you can see from this shocking footage shot at the scene.
I've sent it back to Mars along with a note which I've added below as I want the internet to think I'm as funny as that prick who sent the smug letter to Branson about the toilets on Virgin rail or something.

3/5/11

Dear Mars,

I bought this the other day and thought you’d like to see it. It was from a vending machine but the bloke who fills them up isn’t around so I thought I’d go straight to the source.

No idea what happened to get it in such a state but I was forced to purchase an alternative bar, made by what I thought was your arch rivals Galaxy. I see however you make them too so you’ve got me there.

A mate of mine years ago said his dad sent back a busted Mars bar and received a massive box of chocs in return. I’m not after that but I would like a different bar to the smashed one enclosed. I took a punt on buying the less fat option and it’s backfired horribly.

Yours,

Biff Bifferson III