Leeds (Leeds, Leeds) United:
This was when Leeds had just got relegated to what is now the Championship but then was probably the First Division. Sorry to the anonymous commenter on the previous two instalments of this who started to cry when he saw I'd got the location of the Fulham press box wrong.
I don't really remember Leeds that well, the press lounge was alright though, and Elland Road is an ace ground.
This was during the Ashes in this country - not last time but the one before - and everyone missed the kick off as they were watching 'snakehips' Shane Warne's last ball. There's probably a Liz Hurley joke there but I can't think of it.
All the fielders were funnelled up either side of the batsman like some guard of honour. Either way, I had some sarnies.
This was after they'd put those flats in each corner of the ground but, I think, before they'd got planning permission for them. So they were all empty and I couldn't really see the appeal anyway. What if you were on nights on Saturday?
The press box was at the back of the stand (presumably the big one) I think, and I vaguely remember it being a turd of a climb to the top. No memory at all of the grub though.
Top drawer. In front of me as I picked me brief up was rock star Chris De Burgh who had a brief chat with the security guard who then turned to me and said: 'I love his music you know,' in some kind of bizarre confessional/coming out. I had no alternative but to give him the stinkiest of eyes.
Inside it was like Goodison only red and with loads more trophies. There was a nice spread of sarnies and stuff, and a brew. Some old boy sidled up to me, possibly to defend the south side of the buffet as I had a right plateful.
He asked which way my farthing was going today. I replied the other lot. Can't remember who Lipewlfubbleclub were playing but there was a minute's silence (I know) which the crashing halfwit from BBC Radio Merseyside - not Alan Jackson, the other one who presents the football - answered a phone call in the middle of.
And this wasn't on his mobile, this was an old BT phone which he let ring for a bit. I'd made double sure my phone was on silent as I didn't fancy the solemnity being punctured by a tinny version of Z-Cars.
Benitez was the manager at the time, but this was before he went mad.
Now you're talking. Hot food before the match, sarnies at half time AND after - a few fellas were filling their pockets. And beer too!
Some people don't like City's ground but they're idiots. The view's good, there's leg room - what more do you want?
The press box is good, quite low down on the same side as the TV cameras are, with the press lounge big enough to cope. The managers do the press conference in a weird chapel-like room (which may be a chapel) where you can often, if you're lucky, see Alan Nixon in his meffy black leather jacket. When he's not making up bollocks transfer stories like. Or maybe he does some of them there - just think, you could see the magic happen.