Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Libya to 'come back fighting' in ratings war

Gaddafi - even his pyjamas have medals on
Security experts have warned 'Libya will be cooking up something big' to get itself back on top of the news agenda.
Events in Japan, and that royal wedding cup being printed with the wrong bloke on it, have led to immense news fatigue among the public, leaving last week's chart-toppers Libya on the outside looking in.
Felicity Iron of the International Security Council said: 'At the moment Japan is the only show in town - Colonel Brian Gaddafi won't like that one bit.  But you can be sure he'll have his top men working on something to wrest the initiative back.'
PR guru John Palms added: 'It just goes to show how quickly things can change. One minute you're the lead, the next you're below a Youtube clip about cats.'
The knock-on effects of Libya's demotion are being felt in Britain too. Protestors, led by Jez Briefcaseatschool, have been occupying Gaddafi's London house for the past fortnight. But for the past week no one has even pretended to care.
And with 98% of the world's news crews now encamped on 'the highest ground Japan has to offer' there are concerns for British stories - you know, proper news.
'We could really do with Princess Diana coming back from the dead, or maybe Fergie lezzing up' admitted Daily Express political editor Max Scissors.
With viewer fatigue now reaching critical mass, there are also fears for  Friday night's Comic Relief. A Red Nose Day spokesman said: 'Really, unless we turn all the money over to Japan, is there any point us fucking bothering?'

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