Deadline day, as it happened

Cunt

Wow! Well how was it for you? Another incredible transfer deadline day - or 'season long loan', if you will - is over.

As ever your favourite lifestyle website for top boners was all over the big stories. If you missed any of it, here's what the nation's top Twitter feed revealed yesterday. 

Read from the bottom up to get a sense of the how things unfolded, or from the top to take a trip back in time. 

All spelling and grammar has been left as is to give you a sense of the urgency and drama we professionals are in the middle of on the day when football teams do the same thing they do for many months of the year, only with more shouting. 

AND THATS IT GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY. now, what about emerdale eh?

LAVA #arteta move on hold! delivery of burning torches diverted from goodison to emirates. angry mob mulling options #deadlineday

INCREDIBLE: all Jim Whites declared 'null and void' as of 11pm #deadlineday

SIMMERING: arteta to #arsenal back off again! wenger poos out shoes, eats them again. pat rice! #deadlineday

 

mikel artetas tea ow.ly/i/gzgS

dont forget #arsenal get till next friday to complete their transfers. #deadlineday

BASSETT: #deadlineday and new years eve to be combined in double-bellend scheme. romans stripped of calender rights, now under sky control

MEFFY: #deadlineday tea=leftover mash (nuked),fish fingers, beans. mine or mikel arteta's? we'll reveal all, after this short break

ICE: arteta to #arsenal is OFF. wenger forced to eat own shoes. more to follow #deadlineday

FLANGER: man eats pig! stock market rallies!

ODDS: #efc chairman kenwright on bus to manc airport with slummy jar. jenny seagrove shrieks 'bill! warrabout the asda?!' #deadlineday

@jimw1 @ianhough jim, i've just sat on me sack. any chance of a shouted RT?

Denis Stracqualursi's name is pronounced 'denny', 'denny la', or 'strazzy' #efc #deadlineday

 

An evening With Sir Terry Pratchett featuring the same story over and over again. via @londonist londonist.com/2011/08/hot-ti…

VULVA: #brfc face yakubu tapping up probe after trail of chicken carcases found between southport + eewood. RAC 'livid' #deadlineday

PHENOMENALHANDCLAPBAND: #efc swoop for mrs beckford! spurs sign pete beale! shoe hits tree! full story skysports.com/football/ #deadlineday.

CHOMP: jim 'INCREDIBLE!' does toilet toilet live on air after reading out the name of stockports new loan signing. #deadlineday

An evening With Sir Terry Pratchett featuring the same story over and over again. via @londonist londonist.com/2011/08/hot-ti…

THUNDERCLAPNEWMAN: #efc pull out of #lcfc beckford deal, declaring the player to be 'worth more as parts'. mrs beckford 'livid' #deadlineday

SPLASH! man gets cake! more to follow #deadlineday

RADIOACTIVE: #efc sign bendtner from #afc who pay £10m cash with arteta and tim howard going to the londoners. barclays put gun away.

  

An Evening With Sir Terry Pratchett featuring the same story over and over again. via @londonist londonist.com/2011/08/hot-ti…

SMOKING: source at #cpfc says they're in talks to buy iluv urbone from fc reykjavic. anusor minge (turkey) monitoring #deadlineday

im off for me dinner. for ECSCLUSIVE #transferwindow updates follow @Thomas_Pepper

An Evening With Sir Terry Pratchett featuring the same story over and over again. via @londonist londonist.com/2011/08/hot-ti…

RIPE: #arsenal transfer tzar revealed: jeremyhall.co.uk/wp-content/upl… #deadlineday

SOLAR: #mcfc to buy scotland.turn it into 'a big shed'. scots parliament in emergency overnight session. mars shares soar #deadlineday

biff_bifferson biff bifferson

BANANA COLD: #celtic turn down juventus loan bid for Tiberius weathercock #deadlineday

BLUSHING: SSN reporter bryan swanson's phone explodes live on air, covering vicky gomersall in righteous transfer goo #deadlineday

TEMPERATE: bodyworld doc Gunther von Hagens in talks to land #efc striker louis saha. #deadlineday

NUCLEAR HOT #blackburn sign fc thun defender filipo bosoms (£5m) #deadlineday #brfc

HOT #bcafc in talks to sign #cufc striker brian deckchair (undisclosed) #deadlineday

COLD: #CAFC turn down #gillingham bid for dave pie

EXCLUSIVE: man drives car to work. parks car. goes inside - source, sky sports news

LUKEWARM #spurs offer 'some money and that' for arteta and fellaini. #efc demand jermaine jenas' skincare secret. redknapp:'no dice!'

TEPID: #efc reject #arsenal double swoop for arteta and fellaini. Baines to #mufc £15m REJECTED #deadlineday

EXCLUSIVE: man buys man. details to follow #deadlineday

HOT #watford in talks with #inverness cally over loan for steve archibald's son kareem

RED HOT #efc yakubu and anichebe at #Millwall for talks after 574 quid deal struck VIDEO yfrog.us/n9dh4z

TEPID: #sunderland and #thfc deadlocked over crouch fee. Redknapp blasts envelope's 'paucity'.

HOT: Barnett sign crewes chad French on season long loan. COLD: southamptons Steve blameless turns down move to hated rivals fc Copenhagen

Happy deadline day everyone!